Friday, November 18, 2011

Boys. Sexuality. (un)Shhhh!

I wonder what the "YA" scene would look like if there was a male Judy Blume.
I saw a book for the first time a few weeks ago called Everything I Needed to Know About Being a Girl I Learned from Judy Blume. And I haven't read it yet, but just about every woman I know could have contributed to it in some way. We all read Are You There, God? It's Me, Margaret and Forever. Those books helped a lot to map out what was happening to our bodies and what might/would happen when we started using them.
Judy Blume was big-time comfort.
She's also big-time banned, which shows that many people don't want these maps given out, which also shows that people are still scared of women getting uppity with their sexuality. Or just acknowledging it.
Discussions of boys and their sexuality would be a good thing.
I don't see this happening.
Even in "Health" classes where these discussions would be natural, there are so many constrictions on what can and cannot be said that it really is tragic for the boys and the girls. A lot of parents want to have those "discussions" themselves, which would be great if they actually happened and/or contained facts.
The fact that there is a difference between "sex" and "sexuality" doesn't seem to exist. And questions about sexual orientation? Better not bring them up, even in the "anonymous question" part of class.
Who do the boys turn to for their "map" as girls turned to Judy Blume? Who addresses the most dreaded and embarrassing questions?
Who can they take their fears to?
If I were young and male, I would be angry about all this. I'm angry about all this and I am not young or male. In many ways, I'm not the one who should be asking these questions.
Maybe they are the wrong questions.
But it's a place to start, right?


  1. Hmmm...

    Hello from Miami.

    I think when this book does get written, it will be written by a woman whose editor suggests to her that she adopt gender-neutral initials so it sells better.

  2. Andrew! Gah! No! See, maybe I am not the one to ask the questions. Maybe guys don't need their version of a Judy Blume. BUT. Who answers the questions? I want to know.

  3. I think that religion has a lot to do with what can and cannot be said.

  4. It does amaze me that people believe that ignorance is the answer. Go figure.

    Great post.


  5. Guys are not angry because they don't know they are being left out. I raised daughters (God knows what he's doing), but I told them everything (probably too much) at a very early age. I wanted it coming from me. I like to think I would have done the same with boys.

    Parents if you don't advocate for you kids,nobody will.

    Kristen, I left you a "Lovely Blog Award' at my site,go check it out.

  6. yep. sex is the girlfriend or boyfriend in the closet who you can't stop thinking about and keep
    opening the door.

    it is lunacy how we keep youth confused about
    sex and bomb them with violence. WOW

  7. You should check out Don Calame's books. In Swim the Fly the boys set this goal to see a naked girl by the end of the summer and the mc also volunteers to swim the Butterfly in a swimming meet to impress a girl. Anyway I loved the guy perspective of this book. There's a second book Beat the Band with some of the same characters but I haven't read it yet.