Today when I got home I had a thrill.
I got something cool in the mail.
When my husband asked me what I wanted for Christmas, I told him I wanted a Zombie Apocalypse tool.
He gave me a gift card for books. I understand. I think I scare him sometimes.
So I bought the Zombie Apocalypse tool for myself.
It's this axe-like tool with a serrated blade that hides in the handle.
If you don't have one, you need one. Now.
My husband is apprehensive about me and sharp objects, because I do have a history of slicing bits off my fingers and having to go to the emergency room to get stuff glued back. My whole life I've been scolded about being careful with sharp objects, and that I need to pay attention.
I promise that when a zombie attacks it will have my full attention.
Because there's nothing like being prepared. Having a sense of control of something in a world full of chaos and uncertainty is a cause for celebration.
I have no control over the economy,or the fact that in some circles tomato sauce counts as a vegetable, or the fact that standardized tests cause lobotomies.
But by God, when the Zombie Apocalypse happens, I'm ready.